AM I WORTH?

My daughter does not approach me if she needs something, my wife isn't aware of what I need, my parents don't want to understand what matters to me, .. and so many more such experiences. All pointing towards, Am I Worth?

I have experienced this umpteen times and there are moments when I still experience them. It's like asking ourselves, am I really needed or Am I really worth someone taking interest in me.

We all have a need to be fulfilled and feel taken care of. We all want to be understood. We all want someone to fill that space where we feel uncomfortable.

And this urge just grows as we recognise the chasm between what we want to feel or to be grows wider from what we experience ourselves to be now. We start associating ourselves with our current reality and don't see a way to bridge that chasm. It looks more and more unattainable and distant. It feels like we are only going down the spiral and no one to hold on to. No one to understand and be there.

In those moments it feels, wish someone would have understood me and heard me.

It takes a lot of courage and conviction, in that moment, to trust what we are experiencing to be be true and that there will be someone who will understand us.

It takes a lot of conviction and openness, to accept what we are experiencing is not to be filled by someone else but ourselves.

It's rather confusing, at start, to believe how can something which needs to come from someone else can be fulfilled by me. And this tussle and confusion continues till we see ourselves getting to the same state and situation again and again.

But once there is an acceptance to this reality that what needs to be fulfilled is within us and it's the 'I' that needs to be taken care, slowly the seed of self love and embrace starts showing face.

And it's then we start realising that every thing that we experiencing is a result of how we engage and embrace ourselves.

And there starts a journey of fulfilling that which is empty within us or fulfilling something which scarce in us. And while we continue in this gradual journey, we start observing the layers of questions we had on our self esteem and self worth, start slowly dropping and it giving space for the new reinvigorated self to emerge.

And from here, starts a new dawn of possibilities and beginnings.

And this new energy shifts our role from a need to be fulfilled by others to a role to serving others fulfilment. We experience the energy growing multifold, within us, to serve us and others around us. It gives birth to new rejuvenated relationships and deeper belongings.

It stops the need to be looked after and starts a dawn of growing beyond self into the realm of one consciousness, a space where you co-exist and co-create.

A space where questions about Worth drops and wish for deeper belongings originates.

A space where worth, value, etc dissolves and what emerges is true Love.

Radhe Krishna.