Fear and Your Response

One day my wife approached me with a fear of tomorrow, specifically the upcoming Monday. She expressed feeling overwhelmed by the multitude of tasks that needed to be done in preparation for the Monday morning. She expressed her concerns about not being able to do anything in the face of these overwhelming responsibilities.

As I observed her, it was evident that she had accumulated a mental mountain of responsibilities, making everything appear insurmountable.

Curious about the source of her distress, I asked if this had been bothering her for a while. She clarified that it was only in the present moment that she felt helpless.

I asked her what would happen if she didn't complete tomorrow's tasks. She explained that it would mean going hungry and the children would have to go to school without food.

I then asked her, "So what about that?" She responded that she wouldn't feel good about it and emphasized that it was not just about her but about taking care of the family.

I proposed that we try to approach the tasks one at a time. She expressed skepticism, saying it wasn't as easy as it sounded. I acknowledged that it wasn't simple, but I asked if she would be okay with attempting to make it seem simpler. She agreed.

I then asked her what was the first thing she would like to do at that moment to prepare for tomorrow. I reassured her that it could be as trivial as picking vegetables from the fridge or selecting the vessels for cooking. She decided that she wanted to start by cutting vegetables for tomorrow's breakfast. I encouraged her, saying, "Let's go and do it." We began cutting the vegetables together, and it took us only 5-10 minutes to finish. As I finished cutting, I noticed that she had already started working on other parallel tasks she could handle. By the time we finished preparing the first dish, I asked her how she felt about her fear. She replied that it was better, although not completely gone. She felt better about herself and what she was accomplishing in the present moment.

At times, emotions like fear can grip us, presenting an overwhelming façade that seems poised to engulf us entirely. In those moments, our minds play tricks on us. It generates a feeling of fear and subsequently spawns numerous associated thoughts. Unbeknownst to us, we find ourselves bombarded by these thoughts, and before long, we feel submerged and helpless. Consequently, we view everything through a pessimistic lens, exaggerating the size of tasks and perceiving a lack of resources, leading to a mentality of avoidance. This repetitive cycle becomes a whirlpool of inaction and misery, gradually spiraling into depression.

If we closely examine this buildup, we realize that it becomes what it is because things appear larger than they actually are. Tasks seem more complex and demanding than their true nature. Therefore, it is crucial to counteract this by breaking down overwhelming figures into manageable tasks. By separating ourselves from the daunting feeling and focusing on smaller tasks, we redirect our energy from avoidance to engagement. Gradually, our perspective shifts, and normalcy is restored. We begin to perceive tasks in their true light, considering the effort and time required. As a result, we become more involved in additional activities, often without even realizing it, transitioning from a timid state of engagement to an active one.

Hence, it is essential to support individuals experiencing depressive states actively. This entails working alongside them and encouraging them to detach from overwhelming thoughts, focusing on a small set of activities to be tackled one at a time. This approach helps to alleviate the generated stress and minimize panic within the autonomic nervous system.

By implementing these strategies, we can facilitate positive change and assist individuals in navigating through challenging emotional states, ultimately promoting their well-being and mental health.