THE LANGUAGE WE SPEAK TO OURSELVES

Many of Us are not aware that like we talk Outside, we also have conversations Inside. While we are consciously aware of the conversations we have with others, we may not always pay attention to the conversations happening within us.

WHY is it so? And WHAT is this language being spoken inside? WHAT's its importance?

Let's try to understand.

The reason why many people are not aware of their inner talk or do not actively experience it is because it is not as emphasized or explicitly taught as external communication. From a young age, we are taught language skills to communicate with others, but we may not receive the same level of guidance or education on how to engage in effective inner dialogue.

What is this Inner Talk?

When we are performing an action outside, we experience various emotions. And these emotions are there to assess how ready we are for the action in hand. For e.g. you might experience emotion of rage because you are not resourceful enough to handle the situation, you might experience emotion of fear because you are not adequately prepared for the action and similarly you might experience various such emotions for different reasons of your readiness. What these emotions are telling is that you are not ready for the action in hand. And while they convey it, they convey it through a language and that is called as Inner Talk.

The language being spoken inside is subjective to each individual. It is influenced by our upbringing, experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. For example, if someone grew up in an environment where they were frequently criticized or made to feel inadequate, their inner talk may reflect that language of insufficiency and self-doubt. On the other hand, if someone had a supportive and nurturing upbringing, their inner talk may be more encouraging and self-affirming.

So, it's important as a first step to understand the language or the kind of language we are talking to ourselves.

Developing mindfulness or self-awareness is a helpful practice for exploring and understanding our inner talk. By taking time to sit quietly, close our eyes, and observe our thoughts without judgment, we can gain insight into the language we use internally. Through this practice, we can become more attuned to our self-talk patterns and evaluate whether they are helpful or harmful.

Now the second step is to take the newly found awareness to practice towards self-regulation and betterment of language.

To practice self-regulation and improve our inner dialogue, it is important to observe the language used in our inner talk and be present for it. By allowing the language to flow without judgment or resistance, we can create a space for it to be heard and understood more clearly. This process helps to slow down the stream of thoughts, allowing us to attend to them more effectively.

When we are present for the language, we are fully attentive to it. For example, if we hear the inner talk saying, "you cannot even do a simple thing like this," instead of immediately rejecting or suppressing it, we sit with it and give it our full attention. By doing so, we begin to notice that the language gradually softens and transforms into a more caring and comforting tone.

As we continue to be present and attentive, the inner dialogue has an opportunity to resolve itself. This means that the part of ourselves that was engaging in negative self-talk and self-doubt has not received adequate attention or understanding for a long time. By giving it the space and welcoming it without resistance, it feels acknowledged and accepted. As a result, it no longer needs to hold onto past baggage or negative patterns. It can express its true nature, and in doing so, it naturally releases those negative aspects and settles into a more encouraging and supportive language.

Engaging in understanding and addressing our inner talk is crucial because its impact on our well-being is significant. Imagine if someone were constantly nagging and denigrating you, constantly criticizing and belittling your abilities. How would that make you feel? Especially when that someone is as close to you as your own self, it can be incredibly distressing and damaging. Negative and self-critical inner talk can have a similar effect. It can tear you apart emotionally, leading to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and even self-loathing. When you are constantly bombarded with negative self-talk, you may develop a strong aversion to facing yourself and your thoughts. In an attempt to escape or find relief from this inner turmoil, you may seek solace in external sources like alcohol, food, or impulsive purchases. These external means may provide temporary distraction, but they do not address the root cause of the issue. Dependence on external sources to avoid facing your inner self perpetuates a cycle of dependency and non-fulfillment. By avoiding the exploration and understanding of your inner talk, you deny yourself the opportunity for personal growth, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. The inner turmoil persists, preventing you from experiencing a deeper level of fulfillment and contentment.

Recognizing the impact of negative inner talk on your well-being is essential for breaking free from this destructive cycle. By developing a healthier and more supportive inner dialogue, you can transform the way you perceive and relate to yourself. This includes challenging negative thoughts, replacing self-criticism with self-compassion, and nurturing a positive and encouraging inner language.

In summary, becoming aware of and engaging with our inner talk is essential for personal growth and well-being. By understanding the language we use internally, we can work towards transforming negative patterns and fostering a supportive and empowering inner dialogue. This shift can lead to increased self-acceptance, resilience, and a deeper sense of fulfillment in both our inner and outer lives.